Bark + Bite

Oops! Britney's involved in another fender-bender

Would the state of California just take away her license and be done with it? Just make it a law that Britney Spears must have a driver at all times. Damn. Here's video of the incident from the AP/TMZ.

To be fair, it looks like no damage was done, but given her track record, she's a proven menace behind the wheel. Why can't she just hire a driver? She's filthy rich. Shoot, if I had money like that best believe I'd be chauffeured everywhere. Even to my mailbox.

Mariah opens up to Ellen

No, not in that way. I meant emotionally.

Mariah gave her first post-nuptial interview today on Ellen's show and she talked about her romance with Nick Cannon, her whirlwind wedding and of course, her big fat engagement/wedding ring. No word on whether or not it really was a recycled ring or not. Watch clips from the interview yourself.

I have to say, marriage seems to have done Mimi some good. That was the most mature, coherent interview I've seen from her in a while. I guess stick does a Mimi good.

Jay-Z defends himself against Glastonbury critics

Noel Gallagher came out sharply against Jay-Z being given the headliner's spot at the Glastonbury festival and he blamed Jay-Z for the poor ticket sales of the festival this year. Ouch.

Now, Jay-Z is hitting back at Noel, saying Hip Hop is a part of world music and that it is constantly evolving and changing as an art form. Uh, I don't believe that Noel ever said that Hip Hop wasn't an art form or that it wasn't evolving, Jay. That was a pretty weak defense. Noel's point was that Glastonbury is a rock festival and in a world where rock music is more and more being marginalized and stamped out by Hip Hop and R&B, it's no surprise that some of rock's vets are feeling a bit protective of their venues. How would Hip Hop heads feel if Tokio Hotel was signed up to headline Summer Jam? Hell, remember when Summer Jam fans booed because Destiny's Child performed there and many considered them "too pop" to be at Summer Jam? It's the same thing.

But I don't blame Jay-Z for this fiasco, as he said, he's just there to put on a show. The organizers knew better and now that they've got this public relations fiasco on their hands, they can't really rescind the offer to Jay-Z because it would be insulting to him and look really bad on their part. They've made their bed, now they've got to lie in it. Oh well.

Tesouro/Lixo: Santogold - L.E.S. Artistes and V.I.C. - Get Silly

Tesouro

Santogold - L.E.S Artistes

I didn't start out wanting to like Santogold. She has been the hipster flavor of the month for a while, and at first I didn't really get her music. When I first came across her stuff, I was pumped because I expected it to be in exactly the same vein as M.I.A. Boy, was I wrong. When I heard her stuff i found it to be abstract, dense and hard-to-digest. But then I revisited "L.E.S. Artistes" and something about the haunting song stuck with me.

First things first: I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love it when black artists don't go the stereotypical Hip Hop or R&B route. I love Hip Hop and R&B music, those genres will always be my base, but I hate that oftentimes that's the only box people allow black artists to fit in. Santogold is essentially genreless, much like M.I.A. She's electronica, trance, house, pop, rock, blues and everything mashed together. But mostly, I feel like she's saying something and actually using poetry to convey her message. What is "L.E.S. Artistes" about? Many have taken a stab at guessing the song's meaning and it's refreshing that we actually have to dissect music lyrics to get at the core of a song's message again. Songs like "Low," really leave little room for analysis.

Lixo

V.I.C. - Get Silly - Produced by Soulja Boy Tellem

I'm an outspoken opponent of Soulja Boy. Yeah, some people say that it's just harmless kids' music, but I've got to call garbage when I hear it. Not only has Soulja Boy decided to tarnish our airwaves with his aural diarrhea such as "Crank Dat," "Soulja Girl" and "Yah Trick Yah," he is now introducing NEW lixo to the music industry. Armed with a 4th grader's vocabulary and Fruity Loops beats, Soulja Boy bringsus  V.I.C.'s "Get Silly." What, "Crank Dat" wasn't SILLY enough???

This song is yet another of the endless line of mindless "dance" songs that have been popular recently. Don't get me wrong, I ENJOY dance songs, but damn, I feel like a complete moron listening to this crap. The verses are ALL garbage, they don't say a damn thing. The only part people even care about is the hook and the beat. Color me unimpressed. The sad part is, I bet this garbage is gonna be a hit.

El dia del Archuleta

Celebrate good times, Archuleta fans. For the upcoming finale of "American Idol" the final three contestants, El Archuleta, Syesha Mercado and David Cook all go to their respective hometowns and get the folks fired up.

El Archuleta was honored with a whole day being dedicated to him in Murray, Utah. Papa Jeff Archuleta, who has been banned from going backstage on 'Idol,' was beyond ecstatic. El Archuleta looked bewildered and doe-eyed as hundreds of people screamed and cheered for him, smiling politely and acting sheepishly. But he put aside all bashfulness when it was time to wow the crowd. El Archuleta whipped out his ol' trusty rendition of "Imagine," with acoustic guitar backing, and the hometown crowd swooned. Check out the video below.

The big question is: Will El Archuleta seal the deal and be crowned the next American Idol? I'm thinking he won't win it. The whole world seems infatuated with David Cook and the story of his brother with cancer, plus, they had a really young winner last year, Jordin Sparks. I don't think they'll give the title to the kids back to back. But we'll have to wait and see on Wednesday.

Britney and Whitney staging a December comeback?

Musicwise, Britney and Whitney have very little in common. Whitney is was a stellar vocalist with a solid reputation and tons of credibility in the music industry. Her songs were as monumental as her voice and it was pretty much a requirement for every aspiring vocalist to cite Whitney Houston as an inspiration. Britney on the other hand, wasn't praised for the breadth or depth of her voice, but for its distinct sound. She whined and purred her way through the music industry and like Madonna, her career has thrived on controversy and media scandals.

Their personal lives, and subsequently their downfalls, have been perfect mirrors of each other, however. Both women got tangled up with "bad boys," got pregnant and had children, and both have battled public meltdowns as a result of drugs, broken relationships and family quarrels. Whitney's been out of it since 1998 -- we like to pretend 2002's "Just Whitney" didn't happen -- so she's arguably been battling her demons publicly a bit longer than Britney. But what Britney lacks in time, she makes up for in impact. The images of Britney with the running mascara and clippers in hand as she shaved her head have become iconic. And the multiple hospital visits that have played out on the Internet and the tabloids are something Whitney hasn't gone through.

But, putting all of that aside, the ladies, reportedly, are ready to come back. Britney's comeback seems especially rushed, since she (sort of) released an album last year, "Blackout." I don't think she remembers much about the release, in all fairness. Britney's been hitting the studio recently and the record label is delighted with her progress. Whitney's been rumored to be staging a comeback for years, so I'm not holding my breath, but she has been performing recently and it's been confirmed that she's been working with Ne-Yo. Both women are slated to release new albums in December.

At the end of the day, Britney and Whitney will be embraced once again by the public if they can put out good, catchy material that can make the public forget about all of their train wreckish ways. After all, R. Kelly pissed on little girls and all he had to do to win over the public was release "Step In The Name Of Love."

Preview Britney's 2nd appearance on 'Mother'

It's a "cute" part and at least she looks cleaned up and she's speaking coherent English. Babysteps, y'all.

Top 10 songs in the US

1 LEONA LEWIS / BLEEDING LOVE
- Leona's establishing a reign, which is fine by me. I'm not quite tired of the song yet, but I'm getting close.

2 LIL WAYNE FEATURING STATIC / LOLLIPOP
- Weezy's getting it juicy all over the top ten. I'm sure he's hoping the success of "Lollipop" will translate into big sales for his LP.

3 JORDIN SPARKS DUET WITH CHRIS BROWN / NO AIR
- The kids are still jamming to this one. I'm praying we'll be rid of this song come June once school lets out.

4 USHER FEAT YOUNG JEEZY / LOVE IN THIS CLUB
- Sorry, but whenever I hear the original I just flip the station. The REMIX with Beyonce and Weezy just shits all over this one.

5 RAY J FEAT. YUNG BERG / SEXY CAN I
- Really? Who's still playing this song? Aren't we tired of this crap yet? No? Ok.

6 MADONNA FEAT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE / 4 MINUTES
- Even though she wasn't able to hit #1, this song has given Madonna a healthy reign in the top ten. Thanks, Justin and Timbo!

7 MARIAH CAREY / TOUCH MY BODY
- Now that she's Mrs. Cannon, we no longer have to wonder about who's touching Mariah's body.

8 NATASHA BEDINGFIELD / POCKETFUL OF SUNSHINE
- Woo hoo! A new entry in the top ten! But it's another song by another British female artist. Damn, UK ladies. Y'all are saturating the market.

9 SARA BAREILLES / LOVE SONG
- This song is like a bad case of herpes, we can't seem to get rid of it.

10 JESSE MCCARTNEY / LEAVIN
- Another new entry, but a puzzling one. I haven't heard much of this song on the net, which must mean he sold an assload on itunes. I doubt he'll be in the top ten next week.

R. Kelly's porn case is finally going to trial

R. Kelly tried to get the trial for the six-year-old child pornography charges delayed once again, but this time the judge said : NO MAS.

Check out the footage from a local Chicago station of R. Kelly walking into court:

SMH @ the fools screaming and shouting that people are just hatin' on R. Kelly. They sound and look like they came straight out of that parody of the whole R. Kelly situation on "The Boondocks."

Madonna talks Mariah, Malawi and Live Nation with the AP

It looks like the Madonna and the Mariah fans will have to put their beef to rest. Madonna admits in this AP interview that she likes Mariah and is a fan of her song "Touch My Body." This is certainly a 180 from the Madonna who said she would kill herself if she were Mariah. Part of me thinks Madonna's just a lot more PC now and she's feigning admiration for Mariah. But then again, maybe they have a cougar bond. After all, they're both married to much younger men. Cougars unite!