Mimi might be damn near 40 years old, she might have released over 10 albums, she might have sold millions of albums worldwide and she might be an icon to millions, but she's still an eternal 12 year old. For some, the adage "Age ain't nothin' but a number" is an idiom extolling people not to let age prevent them from living life and trying new things. For Mariah, "Age ain't nothin' but a number" is a way of life.
In her new video for her latest single, "I'll Be Loving U Long Time" featuring T.I., she tries her darnedest to out-Beyonce Beyonce and out-Rihanna Rihanna. The near-40-year-old songbird is dropped off in an exotic beach setting and she purrs, winks and shows off her assets in a bikini for 75 percent of the video. Watch the video below.
First off, props to Mimi. Her body IS incredible for a woman near 40 years old. Then again, her body hasn't had to suffer through the earth-shattering transformation that is pregnancy. So maybe it's not that remarkable.
Despite the cougarlicious lady lumps, I have to chastise Mimi for sticking to her old tricks in this song and video.
When Mariah "emancipated" herself from her ex-hubby, Tommy Mottola, she decided to reinvent herself as a rapper's best friend. Mariah won't say no to any rapper and there can never, ever be too many rappers on one remix in Mimi's eyes. This song, "I'll Be Loving U Long Time," originally didn't include T.I. on the album cut, but after the disappointing performance of "Bye Bye," it looks like Mimi decided to fall back on the ol' "Slap a hot rapper on the song and hope radio plays it" trick. Yawn. I know it's not just me, cause I've heard plenty of other people complain about this, but slapping a rapper on a song does not a remix make. I need a new beat, possibly some new lyrics. You know, a remix.
Now as for the video, it's a glamour video. There's no plot. Just plenty of sand, cleavage, shots of the ocean as the sun sets and a wind machine. Wisely, she kept Mr. Nick Carey out of the video, and wisely, she didn't try to make a play on the Asian stereotypes associated with the phrase "I love you long time." The lambs in Japan might not have liked that too much.
Visually, the video the is stunning, but the scene with T.I. is so obviously out of place and obviously shot apart from Mariah's. They don't appear in a single frame together and it clearly looks like he's in a studio with a "forest" of potted plants. Why is he standing in the middle of a forest in an partially-unbuttoned shirt, jeans, white sunglasses and a stack of cash? What's the point? Where's the plot?
Ah, forget it. I'm trying to make sense of a Mariah Carey video. That's like trying to rationalize "My Little Pony" as some complex, intellectual reflection of the U.S. government.
