Ever since the "La Bella Mafia" album, Lil' Kim has expressed an unfortunate interest in "singing." It's difficult to know what to call what Lil' Kim does when she opens her mouth and attempts to "sing." The sound is reminiscent of a hippo sitting on a cat's throat, strangling its vocal chords. When you hear Kim sing, it almost sounds like a loud whisper, sort of in tune. She has ZERO power in her voice and it sounds shaky throughout her performance. (And don't try to pass that off as vibrato either, Kim stans.)
Despite the tepid response to her attempts at singing in the past, Kim has been undeterred from her quest. She was given a prime time slot during Nelson Mandela's concert yesterday, joining Cyndi Lauper for a mash-up of "Time After Time" and "Lighters Up." Looking at Kim onstage, it is clear she is trying to retool her public image. She appeared onstage in a poufy, pink princess dress and she tried her darnedest to look vulnerable and delicate. This, ladies and gentlemen, was not the Notorious K.I.M. we once knew. Watch the performance below.
The really unfortunate thing about this performance and Kim's decision to pursue singing — aside from the fact that she can't sing — is that we don't need another modestly-talented black R&B singer. What the music industry needs is an opinionated, thought-provoking, engaging female RAPPER. We have none. Eve? Washed up and trying to be a fashionista. Foxy Brown? Deaf, crazy and out of her wits. Missy Elliot? Her creativity gas tank is stuck on E. Right now, we could USE a re-energized, confident Lil' Kim. Someone who could shock and wow us with her lyrics. Of course, therein may lie the problem. Kim always relied on her sexuality to give her that "wow" factor, and as the sales of her last few albums have proven, the public is tired of Kim pushing pussy, Prada and drugs. But still, that's no excuse to go down the Ashanti path.
Won't the real Lil' Kim please stand up?


