Who is Lola? Is she a hot new, sexy singer that somehow managed to link up with the Neptunes for this naughty track, "Fresh Out the Oven"? No, Lola is the name for Jennifer Lopez's desperation. J.Lo hasn't had a hit movie or album in years, pretty much ever since she hooked up with Marc Antony. (I'm pretty sure Puff is still on standby waiting for Jen to come back to her senses.) So with two flop albums (Brave and Rebirth) weighing down her flailing music career and with Beyonce, Lady Gaga and all these other young women stomping all over the game, Jen has decided that since she can't beat 'em, she'll join 'em.
Beyonce launched her last project "I Am...Sasha Fierce" with a "Who Is Sasha Fierce?" campaign in which she set up websites and social media profiles to pique interest in the project. Jennifer and her team were apparently watching and taking notes, because she's xeroxed Bey's strategy and slapped the name Lola on it, taking on her own alter ego. This despite the fact that J.Lo had bitchfits over the media referring to her with the J.Lo pseudonym, insisting she be called Jennifer Lopez. Failure will humble you every time.
Listen to Lola, I mean, Jennifer Lopez's new single "Fresh Out the Oven" featuring Pitbull.
The song is one of the fresher Neptunes productions that they've done in recent times, but it's not groundbreaking. In fact, it's quite mellow and laid back. Pitbull, the Cuban rapper with two current hits under his belt, is at the top of his game as always, bringing his suave flow to the track. Jennifer probably figures she can cash in on Pitbull since they're both latinos. Sure enough, Pitbull makes sure to shout out, "Cubano! Boricua! Ay que rica, dale chica," on the track. Gracias por su ayuda, Pitbull.
So with a hot production team behind her, and an in-demand Latino rapper thrown in for good measure, Jennifer's back on the map no problem, right? Eh, not quite. Where the track falls apart is lyrically and (surprise!) vocally. Jennifer Lopez, despite her protests otherwise, isn't the best singer. She alternates between Ying Yang Twin-style whispering and singing, but ends up hitting notes that would even have Cassie saying, "Girl..." Then again, y'all already let J.Lo's horrible vocals slide in the past, like those howl-at-the-moon vocals on "All I Have," so she might get away with it again.
Lyrically, Lola is singing about her love below being "fresh out the oven" and denying men who "want the cookie, you gon' have to wait for the cookie, no touchy touchy, only looky looky." This is a married 40-year-old woman, cooing and whispering on a track about some man coming to get her cookie. When will these cougars cool off and leave the hot and heavy stuff to the sex kittens in the game? At what point do they start to say, "Hmmm, maybe this song about me backing it up in the club and licking up my honeypot is too much at my age"?
Marc, come get your wife and tell her to stay home with her babies. Lola, Jennifer, J.Lo, whatever she wants to be called, can eek out a living hocking her perfume on QVC or something. This music thing might not be it for her anymore.
