The Britney we see before us today is not the Britney that we once knew and loved. The old Britney writhed and crackled with sinewy sensuality, raw charisma and energetic performances. Yes, she lipsynched, although there are some delusional Britnistas who argue you to death over this obvious fact, but that was forgivable because she was usually stripping down to besparkled nude suits or wrestling snakes while onstage. Compare this to the new Britney, or rather, the post-K-Fed-Britney, who is a dull, drugged, slower shell of her former self. To be fair, since Papa Spears stepped in to save Britney from herself, Ms. Spears has made significant improvements in both her performances and her music videos, but Britney's still dead behind the eys and walking through the motions somewhat.
Every now and again, there's a glimmer of hope that the old Britney is about to burst out from her restraints, and the anticipation campaign engineered by Team Britney for the debut of the video for "3" helped fuel that wonder. Would this be the video where Britney really came back, with fire in her eyes and agile, precise dance moves? The answer is no, but it's good enough to continue holding out hope.
The song "3" is about Britney asking her lover to acquiesce to a threesome fantasy that she's dying to play out. (DP?) The video, however, is castrated and tamed. The bit about her singing about "living in sin" is even censored. Lame. There's no fancy theme or plot for the "3" video. Following in the footsteps of Beyonce and her "Single Ladies" smash, Britney tries to sell the song with just a studio backdrop, back-up dancers and her ability to entertain and work the camera. Her abilities unfortunately are still slightly impaired.
For the first minute of the video, the viewer is left puzzled and squirming in discomfort. Why is Britney hawking her nasty, cheap stench at the beginning of the video? What the hell was that bizarre wriggle and shake, with her turning her head back like she killed it? Why does her hair look so tangled and matted? Did she just come in a rough bar crawl?
Thankfully, things do pick up after the minute mark, where Britney is flanked by dancers and she actually performs some choreography. But things start to croak again when Britney, in a very Beyonce/Lady Gaga-inspired white bodysuit, tries to work the horizontal bar with female dancers. Like a black man at a lacrosse game, Britney looks out of her element. She moves slowly, never dominating the pole and manifesting any palpable energy.
Watch the video for Britney Spears' new single "3".
The good news is that her body is on point. Britney's got a nice, firm backside and her jelly ain't smelly. The cleavage is a little tear-droppish but it's okay, she's had two kids. While Britney looks like she's back in fighting form, that spark hasn't come back all the way yet. Perhaps in time for her next project Britney will find her drive again, but at least she's still trying.
