There's sticking your foot in your mouth and then there's gagging on your knee as you shove your entire leg down your throat. John Mayer did the latter in his interview with Playboy which hit the web this week. In his interview, which was rife with douchery and a vomit-inducing lack of self-awareness, John essentially lit a match at a gas station, using the n word, using the f word, announcing his penis as a white supremacist and kissing and telling about his so-called hot and steamy relationship with Jessica Simpson. Suddenly, Chris Brown doesn't seem like such a public relations nightmare.
Here are a few of the choice offending quotes:
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n**ger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My d**k is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke c**k. I’m going to start dating separately from my d**k.
PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.
MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his d**k. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.
And those were just the zingers that touched on race. There were also rants about homosexuality and Perez Hilton, "napalm sex" with Jessica Simpson and far too much time spent on masturbation. Congratulations, John, this Jumento award is deservedly yours.
The blogosphere has done a remarkable job taking John to task for his rancid comments. Michael Arceneaux, writer of The Cynical Ones and friend to Bark + Bite, wrote an eviscerating take down of Mayer and his offensive interview. While Jezebel and the site's commenters ate Mayer for lunch. And then there is the onslaught of furious tweets directed at John Mayer's Twitter account, which is still on going.
All of the intense backlash and scrutiny resulted in the predictable "my bad" mea culpa and John promising to stop trying to be "clever" in the future. If that's Mayer doing clever then his stupid must be a real doozy.
But what would a public lashing and apology be without the obligatory public breakdown YouTube clip?
There's one thing Mayer got right. In his apology on Twitter he responded to a comment about him going to rehab by saying, "They don't make rehab centers for being a-holes." Amen, John. Amen.
