Still got "Telephone" on the brain after its world premiere last week? You are not alone. Multiple media outlets and blogs have begun to dissect and analyze the video, crawling through the images looking for hidden meanings and attempting to piece together all the hints and symbols Gaga dropped. But even after reading all of the "research," there were still a few questions that remain unanswered from the "Telephone" video.
Note: Little Monsters and Baby Sasha Fierces, this is in no way meant to disparage or take away from the excellent music video these two ladies have created. It's all in fun. Please, don't hurt us.
Why waste a perfectly good honey bun?
After Lady Gaga gets bailed out by Beyonce, aka Honey Bee, the two exchange in a sexual tension-filled exercise of honey bun munching. But after one bite from each lady, Honey Bee tosses the delicious and ridiculously sugary baked treat out the window. Why?! Didn't Beyonce and Gaga's mothers warn them about wasting food and bring starving African children up in their admonishments to prove the point?
Who kept snatching Honey Bee's cowboy hat?
As Honey Bee struts into the diner, she's wearing an all-yellow, body-hugging dress with a matching cowboy hat (a nod to Bey's Texan roots?) that looks as waterproof as a raincoat. But throughout her interaction with her jerk of an ex-boyfriend, played by Tyrese, the shots of Honey Bee alternate between her wearing and not wearing the hat inexplicably. As she sits down in the booth, she's wearing the hat. When she says, "Hi, honey," she's not. The boyfriend gets up and does his "I'm a jerk" routine and the hat is back on. After Gaga comes out and serves the boyfriend his toxic last meal, Honey Bee delivers her "I knew you'd take all my honey line" sans hat, and then when she throws her hand up coyly to cover her mouth after uttering an expletive, the hat's back on again. Maybe it was windy in the diner and the hat kept flying off?
Does Lady Gaga call all her black friends "sista"?
After Lady Gaga gets her phone call in jail from Beyonce, telling her she'll soon be flying the coop, Gaga and some gal pals dance in the hallway in a very Chicago-esque number in nothing but their spiked bra and panties. While they're dancing, a text that Gaga is sending to Honey Bee is thrown up that says, "Thanks for bailing me out Sista!" Fight the power, Gaga! Obviously, the song has "girl power" as a central theme and the "sista" could merely be a reference to female camaraderie, but one can't help but wonder if the use of "sista" here isn't more of an attempt by Gaga to show she's "down." Word?!
Why isn't Honey Bee shakin' it in a leopard cat suit?
After Gaga and Beyonce poison the whole diner, the police sirens sound and a TV journalist reports on their mass homicide and subsequent escape in the "Kill Bill" Pussy Wagon. Intermittently, shots of Gaga dancing in a leopard cat suit at night in front of the rear end of the Pussy Wagon are shown. But where's Honey Bee? Was she asleep in the truck? Why would she miss this glorious opportunity to shake it like a donkey? Another curiosity is the fact that this scene takes place at night. In the end of the video, Gaga and Beyonce make their getaway in broad daylight and then are seen driving off at sunset. The story never made it to nightfall.
Why is Honey Bee in a hotel room by herself?
Beyonce is shown throughout the video in a random hotel room, screaming into her telephone and spazzing out. But where is this room and why is she there by herself? This scene fails to connect to the rest of the story in any way. Judging by the cinderblock construction of the room, perhaps it's a prison hotel room reserved for conjugal visits and Honey Bee was there paying a visit to Gaga while she was in the slammer? Or did her jerk of a boyfriend stand her up one night when they were supposed to have a lover's getaway at a cheap motel?
Why Honey Bee always gotta be driving Lady Gaga around?
What is this, "Driving Miss Daisy"? The black woman always gotta drive around the cooky, oddball white woman? Hhmph. How much you wanna bet Beyonce always has to fill up the tank too? To quote Honey Bee, "You selfish motherf**er."
