T-Pain is the gift that you keep trying to return to the dollar store but always end up walking away with dejectedly back to your house. The 24-year-old father of three is a pissy, irritable ignoramus who wields his newfound wealth like a blunt weapon.
Money, however, can't buy you class, smarts or respect. T-Pain got played badly by Jay-Z and was foolishly accepted the platitudes that Jay's barbs at autotune had nothing to do with him. Yeah, and Lil' Kim really isn't taking shots at Nicki Minaj, she's just directing her rage at all the other female rappers who wear colorful wigs and call themselves a Barbie.
Most recently, the dreaded rapper turnt singer has been ranting and raving about how he will be withholding his album until somebody, anybody expresses interest in buying his singles or his albums. Why the sudden revelation? Because his wretched single "Reverse Cowgirl" went belly up like Rick Ross in the deep section of the pool. If T-Pain were holding his breath for people to buy his music, he'd be passed out and six feet under at this point. No one cares or gives a hoot about a T-Pain song, much less an album. He can name his songs after all the sexual positions he wants, what he's selling people ain't buying. His 15 minutes as a singer are up. It's time to head back behind the boards.
Interestingly, even though T-Pain is whining about the dejected state of the music industry, he released a video yesterday of his newest toy: A diamond-encrusted replica of a Nuvo bottle. Clearly, things in the music industry can't be going that bad for him if T-Pain can still afford baffling pieces of excess like that. Why should anyone feel sorry for him or his plight as an artist when he's so stinkin' rich that he can pretty much do the equivalent of throwing money out the window and sleep at night? That's why T-Pain deserves his Jumento award.
That blinged out Nuvo bottle looks like something Susan Boyle packs in the secret compartment of her purse to keep her company at night in bed while she's on the road. Now no one's saying T-Pain shouldn't indulge himself here and there, but this isn't the first exaggerated necklace Faheem has splurged on. Remember this beauty?
Rather than waste his ringtone nickels and dimes on overpriced, hideous jewelry that do nothing but collect dust, T-Pain might want to seek enlightenment from a book, magazine, newspaper, wikipedia entry or an informed Twitter account so that things like this, don't happen again, leaving him looking so Ashanti - foolish.