As rappers get older, they're supposed to walk off into the sunset, content and fulfilled with the rhymes they've slain and the beats they've conquered. Jay-Z has been somewhat of an anomaly in this regard, retiring and then unretiring in his late 30s, but so far, he's been able to maintain and even grow his success to gigantic proportions in his golden years. But as a giant, sometimes Jay steps on the little guys. MC Hammer is a little guy in 2010. And right now, he's feeling the sting of Jay-Z's bootprint on his face.
Hammer is launching a one man-seasoned serving of beef with Jay-Z. He is M-A-D as hell at Jigga man (who he calls Hell Boy; cue the scary Illuminati sounds) for using his downfall as a punchline in a G.O.O.D. Friday song, "So Appalled" with Kanye West. The line went like this:
“…And Hammer went broke so you know I’m more focused. I lost 30 mil so I spent another 30. Cause unlike Hammer 30 million can’t hurt me.”
Which isn't even really a diss at Hammer. At this point, Hammer's exuberant and lavish rise and his equally tragic and embarrassing fall are part of hip hop history. Hammer's bank account fail is a poignant example to young rappers on how an addiction to flashy toys and piss-poor accounting can leave you in ruins faster than you can say "It's Hammer time!" Not that Soulja Boy is listening.
But the truth be damned. Celebrities often have egos the size of China and so upon hearing of Jay's "diss," Hammer decided to take the "slight" personally and lashed out at Hov on Twitter.
Read Hammer's clap back tweets below
In his first tweet, Hammer posted a short video clip of himself hitting a punching bag. What is this? Rocky? And his threats of a return diss track are not promising. MC Hammer hasn't been relevant since the early 90s, and even back then he was reduced to lending his likeness to a cartoon with magic talking shoes to make ends meet. We won't even touch on his ill-advised zebra-striped speedos in the "Pumps and a Bump" video. At his age, and given his level of relevance, Hammer needs to be worried about lobbying for a spot on Dancing with the Stars, Celebrity Big Brother and whatever other gigs he and Jermaine Jackson compete for.
But hitting out at Jay-Z? That hasn't gone well for anybody. Not Nas, not Mobb Deep, not Beanie Siegel and not the Game. All of the aforementioned are either struggling or invisible on the music scene, while Jay remains comfortably in his throne. Call him a camel or an Illuminati member all you want, but Jay gets to sleep next to Beyonce every night and he still knows what it feels like to be on the Billboard charts at 40. How many of his foes can say the same? Hammer, this is one beef you don't wanna touch. It doesn't matter how legit you think you are. Quit.