Bark + Bite

Chris Brown is on time out from Twitter

 

Oops! He did it again. Chris Brown shoved both of mechanical dummy feet firmly in his mouth over the weekend when he ranted and raved against major retailer Walmart and other record stores, alleging that his album was being "blackballed." The rant came as sales predictions for Chris' album "Graffiti" surfaced. Predicted to sell somewhere between 90-100K of his latest album, Chris took to Twitter to unleash, blaming retailers for hiding his album from the store shelves and lying to fans about the album being out of stock. Nevermind that anyone who wants the album can download it from iTunes or Amazon. Or if they're so inclined, they can even order the physical album from Amazon, Walmart.com or target.com. But hey, why get in the way of a perfectly good scapegoat, right?

Well, someone, likely his label JIVE, has decided to step in and silence the loose cannon. On Monday, Chris Brown bid adieu to Twitter and shut down his account. The Brownistas immediately launched Twitter trends to bring Chris back, but it was all for naught. Breezy had left the building. 

While Brown is no longer a part of the Twitterverse, allowing him to avoid any further unfortunate outbursts, the damage has already been done and retailers are hitting back at his "blackballing" claims with vitriol. SOURCE: Billboard

"Not only am I carrying it, I am over carrying it, because it isn't selling," says the head of purchasing at one large chain. "I wish I could return it." He says the album's first week sales only reached 40% of expectations. At 27-unit Newbury Comics, Carl Mello head of purchasing, echoes that sentiment. "We have it; it's not selling much."

Silence is golden. Or in this case, you could say silence is PLATINUM. It's never a good look to piss off the hand that feeds you.

Chris Brown has nothing new to say in his "tell-all" interview with GMA

Chris Brown must be an avid environmentalist because this man recycles more than a Coke bottle factory. The promotion for his new "tell-all" interview with Robin Roberts has been buzzing that Chris is FINALLY breaking his silence on the Chrihanna saga. Huh? Did they miss the last three or four interviews Chris did talking about the incident? All of which can be summarized with the following phrases:

"Uh, yeah. Wow. Definitely. It's crazy."

"I'm so sorry for what I did."

"I don't want to talk about the specifics of what happened that night."

"I'm only human."

Just read those phrases, hit rewind and play about three or four times and that's the crux of Chris' "explanation" for his behavior.

Here's a clip of what Chris says in his sit down interview with Robin Roberts of ABC.

"It's something that's really touchy." Is that it? Just do the world a favor and stop doing interviews until you spend some time with a book of SAT words, Chris. To be fair, maybe the full interview on Friday will do him more justice. But if this clip is any indication, it looks like we can expect the same tap dancing routine. 

Cassie plays Rihanna in Chris Brown's "Crawl" video

The road to redemption is often a long, winding, unpredictable road that leads the condemned through a journey of reflection and maturity. Chris Brown is throwing up all the "I'M CHANGING, Y'ALL" signals, repeating in all of his televised interviews, "I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong." The "Crawl" video and song appear to be yet another white flag that Chris is raising to the court of public opinion. Chris is now realizing what he had (career and love) now that one is gone and the other is being threatened.

Let's put aside any arguments about Chris' actions that night for a moment. "Crawl" as a body of work on its own, is a masterful power pop ballad, showing a Chris Brown full of regret, remorse and agony. His words ache with the pain of his loss and the ethereal production makes Chris sound like a ghost, singing about the sins of the past. The video matches this mood perfectly, with Chris throwing on his Urkel glasses from the "Kiss Kiss" video for extra woe-is-me sympathy points. Nice one, Team Brown.

The "Crawl" video is reminiscent of when Justin Timberlake used "Cry Me A River" to address his break-up with Britney Spears. Chris casts Cassie, Diddy's rumored sidepiece who's had trouble re-launching her career after her one hit "Me and You," as his leading lady, but make no mistake of it, that's Rihanna she's playing. The video finds Chris following her as she moves on with her superstar life as he's left in the cold and the desert. Yes, the desert. Somehow, Chris can twirl and end up in the Sahara within seconds. Believe in magic, kids.

Watch the video for Chris Brown's "Crawl" below.

Rihanna and Chris Brown start talking in dual interviews

It's been a long time coming but the stars of the Chrianna soap opera are finally starting to pull back the covers on that nightmarish February night in which Chris Brown brutally assaulted his then-girlfriend, pop star Rihanna.

Rihanna, being the victim, got the all-star treatment, sitting down for a nearly hour-long segment of ABC's "20/20" with Diane Sawyer. No stone was left unturned. Rihanna talked about the assault in detail, she spoke about going back to Chris and she spoke explicitly on why she had to walk away from him, even though she still felt love for Chris.

"I resented him. I resented him so much. And I always put the tough face on and try the I-can-do-anything face...try to play it off. But he knew. He knew it. He kept asking me, 'You hate me don't you? You hate me.' And I would lie and I would say, 'No.' Everything about him annoyed me. Him being around me, him talking to me, everything was annoying for me," said Rihanna in the interview

Rihanna's interview is chocked pack full of more quotes and details including on whether she has heard Chris' song he wrote about her, "Changed Man," and whether she thinks they would ever be together again.

Watch Part 1 and Part 2 of Rihanna's interview with Diane Sawyer on 20/20

Mariah Carey talks about Chris Brown + Rihanna, relives Tommy Mottola nightmare

Mariah Carey is sitting down with ye ol' Larry King tonight at 9 pm to dish on life, music and Nick Cannon. In a clip from the interview, Mariah gives her take on the Chrihanna drama, avoiding saying anything controversial. She instead merely alludes to the fact that it's complicated. Things get a little tense though when Larry asks Mimi if she herself has ever been through abuse. The singer pauses, sighs deeply and then turns her gaze to the side as she "vaguely" mentions a situation in which she was mentally and emotionally abused.

Mariah explicitly states that the situation was further complicated because there was a marriage and business involved, which means she is once again putting Tommy Mottola on blast. Damn, Tommy, what the hell did you do to Mariah? She's been writing sob story material for damn near five albums based off your toxic marriage.

I'll be tweeting live during the interview tonight at 9 pm ET, so make sure you follow Bark + Bite on Twitter.

Chris Brown's feelings are hurt

All the jokes and Photoshopped images of Chris Brown's 'Graffiti' album cover appear to have gotten under Chris' (very thin) skin. The "I Can Transform Ya" singer took to his Twitter account and hit back at the jokesters, pranksters, naysayers and the rest of us in the immature media.

"WHO CARES IF MY PANTS R FITTED. It's called fashion. I'm so tired of closed minded people. IM 100% COMFORTABLE WIT MY SEXUALITY. IM A GROWN MAN."

Fashion, baby, isn't always forgiving. I don't agree with throwing Chris under the gay bus, but one can't help but poke fun at the unmistakably feminine aesthetic of his cat burglar outfit. And with all due respect, Mr. Brown, there are fitted pants and there are skin-tight leggings. Your garment fits the latter term.

The real lesson Chris needs to learn is: It's not that serious. If Chris is happy and comfortably dressing up in Lindsay Lohan's leggings and throwing on a pair of freak 'um boots, with a Sasha Fierce roboarm then do you. Don't apologize and don't throw a fit if people clap back at it. That in itself shows Chris' immaturity and insecurity. Did you see Prince apologizing for wearing assless pants at the VMAs? Of course not, he doesn't give a f**k what you think.

Chris, if you're gonna keep doing this Twitter thing, you've gotta stop getting your pantyhose in a bunch.

Chris Brown raids Ciara's closet for 'Graffiti' album cover

This album cover brings on many questions:

Why does Chris Brown have on leggings and how on earth did he get into those things?

What's the guitar for, did Chris decide to take up playing? Or is it there to be used as a weapon?

Why are the cartoon characters from "Cool World" on his album cover, cowering in the corner in fear? Maybe they read the police report.

Chris Brown goes technologic for "I Can Transform Ya" video

Determined to claw back his career and relevance from the brink, Chris Brown joins forces with Lil' Wayne and Swizz Beatz for a pop-lockin', robotic male version of Beyonce's "Upgrade U." Like Beyonce's UU, which Swizz Beatz also produced, Chris brags about being able to afford luxury goods and fancy trips for his lover. Lyrically, Chris shows no growth on the track. These lyrics are just as disposable as "Kiss, Kiss" and his other hits, but he knows his fanbase of young girls and women will sit up in their rooms swooning over the thought of being lavished with attention and money by C. Breezy. Like Sarah Palin, he knows how to rile up the base.

The video though is a futuristic slice of pop art eye candy with sharp, crisp visuals and punchy, pointed dance moves. It's full of toys that would delight a little boy on Christmas morning: Ninjas, transformers and motorcycles. The video barely corresponds lyrically with the song, other than the fact that things "transform" repeatedly in the video. The biggest, boldest thing about this video is Chris Brown stepping into his image as a man. Unlike his previous videos, where Chris came off as a kid, there's an unmistakable GQ grown man swag to this video. His confidence is at the forefront and his determination is palpable. Or maybe it's just those freakin' cool sunglasses?

Watch the video for Chris Brown's "I Can Transform Ya" below.

Crime and Punishment: Chris Brown starts his hard labor sentence

Whistle while you work, Chris. The R&B singer and convicted felon started his hard labor sentence yesterday clearing brush and hauling junk. Blue collar work suits you, Chris.

Watch the video of Chris Brown hard at work.

Chris doesn't seem to be taking things too heavily as he flashed his pearly whites and waved at the paps while he was working. Maybe he's feeling the toxic orange vest? Either way it's going to be an interesting 180 days of hard labor.

Kanye apologizes for the third time, will the world ever forgive him?

The Apology Tour starring Kanye West hit up its third stop last night during the premiere of the new Jay Leno show. Ye had been scheduled to perform with Rihanna and Jay-Z long ago, but in light of the public relations nightmare that was the VMAs mic snatch, Kanye had to address it in a brief sitdown with Jay before performing.

Kanye, who looked like a dog with his tail between his legs, kept his head down during most of interview and spoke softly. You can tell that the backlash has been tortuous for him and the weight of the public outrage is crushing. Jay asked him when he realized that what he'd done was wrong, and Kanye replied, "As soon as I gave the mic back to her and she didn't keep going..." And he's right. The moment it all went down hill is when he jabbed the mic back in Taylor's hand and she stood on stage with her face like a wounded kitten.