Bark + Bite

Aisha Tyler ain't got back, but her jokes are like crack

So let's begin with the fact that this is not a brand new DVD. In fact "Aisha Tyler Is Lit: Live At the Fillmore" was released on DVD in late February of 2009. Had I not caught a re-run of Chelsea Lately (with Ms. Tyler promoting her new stand-up) I would've never known of its existence. Little did I know that Aisha Tyler was a stand-up comedienne...here I was thinking that she was just the hot black chick that used to host Talk Soup on E! and had a recurring role on season one of Ghost Whisperer. But now that I know of her stand-up, she ranks up there (in my book) with other funnywomen such as Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Mo'Nique, etc.

This stand-up comedy begins with Aisha's internet sensation music video "Nowassitall." This comedic gem is a song that has Aisha poking fun at herself for being a black woman with no ass. Though I was quite confused about Aisha rapping at first, I couldn't hold in the laughter once the chorus kicked in:

"No I don't got it, but I want it. Nowassitall'. If I was stuffed then I would flaunt it. Nowassitall. I turn around it's kind of funny. Nowassitall. Damn!"

The music video sets up her stand-up comedy routine in a way that certain one-liners in the song not only become understandable, but hilarious as she touches on them individually during her act in a way that only she can. Her entire routine consists of her uncensored take on sex, relationships, internet porn, bikini waxes, strip clubs, and your gay friends' real opinions about you.

Race, corruption and Texas fuel courtroom drama in "American Violet"

There are those who have an unwavering faith in the honesty and fairness of the American justice system, and there are those who are cynical and suspicious of the motives and actions of those in law enforcement. "American Violet" — a film based on a true story of a corrupt, racist district attorney gone rogue — can be considered another sharpened crayon in the cynics' coloring box.

The  mere idea of a district attorney falsely arresting and rounding up minorities on completely fabricated drug charges and then coercing them to admit guilt and take plea bargains, might seem completely unrealistic to some. Those people have likely never lived in Texas or the South. This "unique" culture of Texas and the South is reinforced throughout the film. Characters wearily remark about the oppressive Texan norms and the insurmountable task of opposing them. Things are just the way they are. Blacks do drugs and commit crimes, while police officers, especially white police officers, are honest working people protecting civil society from ruffians. The black community begrudgingly accepts its role in this twisted soap opera until the clouds break and a light shines, revealing a Yankee named David Cohen from the ACLU, who arrives to right all that is wrong in Texas.

On Your DVDz: Bring It On — Fight to the Finish

Christina Milian, the "Dip It Low" singer and The-Dream's soon-to-be wifey, is the star of the latest, straight-to-DVD installment in the "Bring It On" series. Yes, she's 27 years old and playing a high school student, but don't act surprised. Christina's music career is in the pits after that MySpace record label fiasco and her movie role options dried up after that "Be Cool" doo doo bomb as well. The girl's gotta eat, and what easier way to cash a paycheck than to play a two-dimensional stereotype of a latina, being one yourself? Es muy facil, mis amigos.

Ripping apart the acting in a "Bring It On" movie is like tearing apart kindergartners for not knowing how to solve algebra equations: Your expectations were way too high. The "fun" of the "Bring It On" movies have always been in their bitchy exchanges, their cheer routines and their sappy, predictable dime novel love stories. To that end, Christina Milian and the team faithfully execute the formula, veering slightly only to add a little LATINA FLAVOR to the mix. You could call it, Bring It On — Con Queso. 

On Your DVDz: Miracle At St. Anna

Welcome to the latest feature of Bark + Bite: On Your DVDz! On Your DVDz posts will review movies that are out or about to come out on DVD, cause we're way too busy to be sitting up at the movie theaters. The first movie in this series: Spike Lee's Miracle At St. Anna.