Bark + Bite

Estelle strikes gold with her breezy, Caribbean jam "Come Over"

Oh, you thought it was a wrap for Estelle after "American Boy," huh? It's a fair assessment to make. Her follow up single to "American Boy," "No Substitute Love" didn't register on the public's radar. She even released a Cee Lo collabo, "Pretty Please" that didn't go over well either. Yikes. The question began to emerge: Is Estelle doomed to one-hit wonderdom?

If there's any justice in the world, hell no! Estelle has found her groove again with her new collaboration with Sean Paul, "Come Over." The video for the track was just released, so please take a look.

The song itself is a breezy, light, sensual love song about desire, longing and lust. It's got a slow whine to it and it'll have you turning out the lights faster than Michael Jackson at a kids-only slumber party. If you think Estelle sounds at home in the Caribbean groove, it is in part thanks to her roots. Estelle's papa was a native of Grenada and Estelle's rap side has always been heavily influenced by Caribbean styles. As for Sean Paul, he could do this song in his sleep, but he thankfully puts in some work and really brings home the male/female dynamic which makes the song click.

Now all of those compliments I paid to the song don't translate to the video. Look, I know they're cutting budgets for videos. I'm not expecting a million-dollar, green screen, Star Wars-type music video. But damn, all artists seem to be doing these days for their music videos is renting a mansion for a few hours and walking around in the damn house and posing on furniture. And for all the warmth that Sean Paul and Estelle generate on the song, it doesn't show in their physical interaction. Estelle seems stiff and intimidated, while Sean is in creepy rough sex mood, biting his lip and smashing his face against Estelle's. Damn, homie, it's supposed to be a music video, not a softcore Cinemax skin flick.

I expected Estelle, being part Caribbean, to put some whine on her moves during the dance floor scene but she looked like she ain't know what to do with her lady lumps.

And though I love Estelle, I've got to say it: Did you see Estelle's JACKED UP grill at the end of the video? She was giving us straight-up Mr. Ed with her protruding gums and beastly teeth.

Is there anything that can be done about horse mouth syndrome? I'm doubtful. In the words of Mr. Ed: a horse is a horse of course, of course.

Of wigs and men

My image of an attorney has been completely colored by my life in the US, so to me, an attorney's uniform was a suit and tie. Nothing more, nothing less.

So imagine my surprise when I began watching Nigerian movies (they're hilarious, you should watch them) and I saw Africans acting out courtroom dramas with musty, ratty, 18th century wigs perched on their heads. My first reaction was: WTF? Why are these grown-ass men playing dress up with historically European costumes in their courtrooms? And those wigs looked really hot, cause the actors wearing them were sweating like crazy in these flicks too. It looked like Niagra falls was running down their faces.

So I began researching why the hell my Nigerian brothers were putting themselves through the torture of wearing colonial wigs from the white man's hey day. I perused the Internets and stumbled upon the history of the barristers and the practices of British law. Apparently, the lawyers and judges of olden times saw the wigs, which are made of horse hair btw, as a sign of respect, status and intimidation. Yeah....intimidated is exactly how I feel when I look at grown men walking around with curly carpets on their heads. Good one, guys.  Just to give the benefit of the doubt, perhaps this argument held some weight in the 18th century when bathing was infrequent and people were shorter and smaller. But how the hell can you make that argument with a straight face in the 21st century?

Well, the Brits are finally wising up...somewhat. The judges have decided that they will no longer be wearing the fugly, old-fashioned wigs in family and civil court, sparing us all from the ridiculous spectacle. CBS News has the report.

The barristers still think they're pretty nifty though. For some strange reason, Tim Dutton of the Barristers Council thinks that the wigs provide the lawyers with a layer of anonymity. WHAT? Has he seen those things? Since when has a wig ever worked as a disguise? Britney Spears has worn pink wigs, black wigs and blonde wigs, she still looks like Britney Spears. Give me a break, counsel!

I want to know when the Nigerians will wake up and drop the silly wigs too. Blonde works on very few black people, Mary J. Blige and Beyonce being the exception, and the whole getup is just out of this time period. This is one instance where America's got it right.

Glastonbury: Amy Winehouse's fists of fury, Jay-Z and his guitar

The Glastonbury music festival was held over the weekend and crackhead extraordinaire Amy Winehouse came out to do her (crackish) thing. She warbeld, she stumbled, she cackled, she shouted out for her jailbird husband Blake, called Kanye West a "cunt" and she jumped into the crowd and got into a fight with the fans. Never a dull moment when you're dealing with Ms. Winehouse.

The fan that she elbowed in the crowd was incredibly understanding and forgiving of Amy's aggressive behavior. It's understandable. When someone is dealing with crack/cocaine issues like Amy is, you kind of expect erratic, loose-cannon-like behavior. Like Courtney Love, you get near Amy Winehouse at your own risk. Watch the BBC interview him below.

Also, check out highlights from the show, including Jay-Z pantomiming on the guitar as he covers Oasis.

Go Nelson, it's ya birfday!

Nelson Mandela is turning 1,345 years old and everyone is celebrating! No, I kid. He's only turning 500 years old. Ok, I'll stop. He's turning 90. No, for real, he really is turning 90.

All of the celebrities are throwing their support behind the inspirational leader and it's heart-warming that so many people care. The best part is, Queen Elizabeth and Mandela met up. Aww, an old people play date. That's cool.

Watch the AP video below.

If I were 90 years old and my children, or my grandchildren, wanted to fly me around the world and throw me a huge party, I would spit in their faces and shake my fist at them. 90 years old is too old to be doing anything but blinking.

Naomi Campbell plays the race card

LMAO why is it that whenever black celebrities get into a scrape with law enforcement, it's because they're black?

Watch Naomi Campbell play the race card as she explains her tantrum aboard the British Airways flight accusing the BA staff of calling her a "golliwog" supermodel. WTF is a golliwog? Wikipedia definitely will have the answer. Oh, upon reading that, yeah, that's pretty offensive.

Johnny Rotten is picking on Coldplay

Why is everybody always picking on Coldplay? Damn. They're docile chaps who happen to make moody, sometimes pleasant, atmosphere music. How can people who make songs like "Clocks," "The Scientist" and "Yellow" be offensive?

This past week hasn't been the best for Coldplay either. In an interview with "Rolling Stone," front man Chris Martin admitted that he feels a bit insecure about the fact that his wife, Gwyneth Paltrow, used to date Brad Pitt. LOL! And then Chris stormed off the set of a BBC interview for no apparent reason. Ai, ai, ai.

Now, Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols is piling on by calling Coldplay a bunch of "pouncey masturbators" in "anoraks." If like me, you live outside of the UK, I was confused by the term anorak, but wikipedia filled me in. "Pouncey masturbators" however is pretty much my favorite new phrase. Damn, I love the British.

Estelle is trying to fix her teeth

Notice the braces? I say good for her. Her teefs were kinda jacked up so I'm glad she's getting that situation taken care of so she can get her sexy back, knowhudImsayin'?

This lovely photo op took place today at the Royal Academy of Art Summer Exhibition in London. Estelle has been at the top of the charts in the UK with her fresh jam, "American Boy," but her reception Stateside has been a bit milder. "American Boy" only reached #63 on the Billboard Hot 100. But she's going to give it another go with her next single, "No Substitute Love." The song is good, in fact it reminds me a lot of Lauryn Hill's stuff before she went mad, but I'm not quite sure it will translate into a hit for her in the US. We seem to only like our British singers if they're cracked out, anorexic and dysfunctional.

Check out recent images of Estelle out and about.

Mel B thinks her sex game is worth Olympic gold

Scary Spice is a freak in the sheets? Are we surprised? She did, after all, have sex with Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy was caught picking up tranny hookers, so anyone who hooks up with Eddie's nasty ass is a certified freak-a-leek.

Mel B bragged about her sex game to the media recently, but she didn't go into specifics. I wonder if she can make a sprite can disappear in her mouth like Lil' Kim? Or maybe since her stint on 'Dancing With the Stars' she's been putting the rhumba and the samba down in the sack. At least she's concerned with her sex game. Some think they just have to lay there. SMH.

Oasis star doesn't want Jay-Z at Glastonbury

Noel Gallagher is hopping mad about the decision to have Jay-Z headline the traditionally rock-heavy Glastonbury music festival. He feels that the show's organizers are betraying the tradition of the festival and that Jay-Z is a bad fit. I can't blame him. But unfortunately, the reality is that rock is dead. Or at least it's on life support. So the show organizer's have to go to artists that the young people are listening to. Noel should just count his blessings that the show organizers didn't book Souljah Boy. Then he would REALLY complain.

AFP has the story below.

There's something about Naomi

Naomi is, once again, ALL OVER THE NEWS. Everybody's talking about this former super model's anger management issues and her past violent behavior. Naomi, did Daddy not love you growing up? Did you not get that pony for your Sweet 16? What's eating you, Naomi?

CBS's Early Morning Show reports on Naomi's situation:

And here's raw video from the AP of Naomi getting bailed out last night:

There are two lessons to be learned from this entire incident.

1) British Airways now knows not to ever, ever, mess with a super model's luggage.

2) If you find yourself sitting on a plane next to Naomi Campbell, either put on a helmet or duck for cover. Because something projectile could be making it's way toward you in a heartbeat.